So much has been happening over the past several months, and it recently occurred to me that not only am I experiencing new beginnings, but many others in my life are too!
I wanted to take some time out to acknowledge this point. I find it to be something special. Relationships, weddings, initiations, school, and all sorts of personal endeavors have been happening around me. It's exciting. A couple weeks ago I was sitting with the feeling of something new blossoming and developing, within myself, but also with others around me. I was trying to understand it from a spiritual perspective and also venture away from a cliche interpretation of rebirth and renewal.
I came up with a couple reflections and meditations. The first is that cliche's are typically accurate. That is why they become cliche's. The idea of rebirth and renewal is something that I hope to carry with me for the rest of my life. Such positive feelings are associated with this sentiment. Sometimes I get so caught up in overworking and worrying, that I need to take a step back and admire what God has placed before me. It's easy to see something nice come my way and to look at it as nothing more than a passing billboard on the highway of life. Where am I going?
I've found that it's so important to recognize grace as it comes. That statement also sounds cliche, but in our society I believe that this practice is an austerity. It's actually hard. I've noticed that I've gotten so used to things going wrong or having anxieties tearing at my consciousness, that sometimes I forget it's OK to be happy. It's amazing how society and people are programmed to project this mood of "go, go, go - achieve, achieve, achieve" to the point where it becomes reckless. I see myself become reckless. The excitement I've been experiencing lately has been serving as a reminder that it's OK to slow down and acknowledge the good in life. I can be genuinely happy and not lose my ability to succeed.
Another reflection I had was in relating my current situation with where I was a year ago. My internal state was very different. I was going through a lot of transition and intensity. There's so much to learn about our spirituality in times of distress, but when things are going well, it's easier to forget about the real goal. At the same time, we are experiencing relief. So I wonder what to make of these fluctuations? How do I allow myself to move in and out of these states of distress and happiness without losing my balance?
One realization I had was that first and foremost, we have to accept that we experience both of these extremes in our lives. When we are inclined to feel happy and fulfilled, we have to allow ourselves to be immersed in it. Likewise, when we are inclined to feel distressed and sad, we have to allow ourselves to feel that way too. The catch is not to get stuck. We tend to get stuck in one extreme or the other out of fear. Fear of what? I have to think that it's fear of losing our grounding or our sense of reality as we've always known it. Part of developing real faith is developing the understanding that the way we perceive reality is minute and distorted compared to the actual reality that Krishna creates. What I mean by that is that we tend to hold on to ideas of what's going on and how things are, and we also believe that due to our understanding we are able to grasp and conquer aspects of our life. I'm sure we can all relate to having an experience where "our world was rocked". What allowed for this experience to happen? It was a time when we were faced with the reality that the way we perceive things isn't perfect, or perhaps is totally inaccurate. These moments are a blessing in disguise because they are both humbling and liberating. Sometimes our worlds are rocked in good ways, and other times in bad ways. But I think the most important point is that we understand and anticipate that our worlds will be rocked regularly.
My other realization was pretty simple, but somehow profound to me: God wants us to be happy. Many times things happen in our lives that make us question what God wants for us, but He really does want us to be happy. So when we reach points in our lives where we feel happy, we can remember that this happy situation was a divine set up and an expression of love for us, whether we deserve it or not. Acknowledging Him is the key to our progress and to unlocking Radharani's grace in our lives.
"O son of Kunti, the nonpermanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons. They arise from sense perception, O scion of Bharata, and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed." - Bhagavad Gita, 2.14
